LAST POST CALLING

Woke up to Manda and Fabiano having a fat chat. Early mornings are a good time for these two. No slow reboot button with either of them. Switch on and go. Not even the Tom Tom could keep up.

Stood in the line at the border with a few other teams. Last stamp. Boom. And then suddenly we were back in South Africa.

What just happened?

It really is bitter sweet to be home. Strange. Quiet. Slightly empty. Familiar but slightly surreal. We arrived back in a sleepy Jozi city quietly enjoying its Sunday afternoon. Suburban dogs lazed at their gates. Cold pigeons puffed about on telephone lines. A hadeda or two ka-ed. Not much has changed here. And that in itself feels weird. Having seen and done and learnt and experienced so much, it's always a bit weird to realize that nothing much ever changes. And that in itself is a lesson.

 The surreal post-Put Foot haze lasted about a week. Society tried its best to crawl back into our skin and it was difficult to snap back to the reality of life, work, friends and family. We are all waiting to see how long we can hold onto our super chilled relaxed holiday vibes. I think it has been 2 weeks so far and still going strong.

It's difficult to put into words what it was like to spend 17 days in a car travelling through Southern Africa. And I am not entirely sure it is something you can understand until you do it yourself. Life on the rally was good. Relaxed. Easy. We lived by the sun and made up the rules on the way. We didn't shower if we didn't feel like it. And no one cared. We fought like siblings. Partied like animals. Laughed like mad. We wore no makeup. Shorts and t-shirts were standard. And now I wake up every morning and stare blankly into my cupboard wondering how work might feel if I arrive in my Put Foot crew shirt, flip flops and a buff.

Life is good. And it's been one hellava ride. And so now begs the question; "What's next?!"

 "The road goes on forever, and the party never ends."

DAY 18 - MAPUTO

Dani wasnt coping with her giant hangover and demanded a Wimpy. There was none. Sorry Dani.

We packed up fairly early with high hopes of a quick cooked breakfast at the restaurant, only to find they only started serving food at 11am. Africa time strikes again! Disappointed in more ways than one, we said a slow goodbye to all the teams. Some still hid from the day in their tents so it was a foot tap here, and a whisper into a tent flap there. Massive hugs for those who stood around. A couple of waves. "See you's laters and it's not goodbye it's just farewells for now".

Heading away from camp felt quite significant. It was the end. We had come full circle and the journey back home loomed. An interesting kind of loom. A happy, but sad kinda loom. Going closer instead of further away. Mozambleak.

We arrived in Maputo (last stop off before crossing the border) in the late afternoon. Got stuck in the chaos that is Maputo traffic, got extremely lost and extremely frustrated. Only made it to our destination late that evening, after experiencing pretty much ALL Maputo could offer. Joined a couple teams at the famous Costa Del Sol restaurant and shoveled delicious prawns and fish into our faces while local race kings did doughnuts in the parking lot opposite us. Oh Maputo.

That night we boarded with Ma Se Kinders and The Natives at a backpackers round the corner. Not sure who snored the loudest. Out for the count.

DAY 17 - UHM, IT CANT REALLY BE DAY 17, CAN IT?

Got stuck in the sand and needed to be towed.

Heading out the campsite was worth the effort but in the end Tertius the sand cub rally car was just a little too city. Team Plan B was literally our Plan B and they pulled us out the dirt. We like them. We don’t like them when they pull over laughing while Kitty and Dani need a pee stop, but at least they were kind enough not to take any pictures. Mind you, their Go Pro has been taking a 5 second time lapse throughout the whole trip so we can’t endorse that the content is appropriate for family viewing.

Final destination was Tofu, Inhambane. Campsite was on a peninsula which means it is only accessible at low tide, and sloshing and winding through the tide made us feel very manly indeed. Tertius glided through like a regular Jeep ad. Plan B caught up with us and used it as an excuse to GoPro everything.

VICTORY! Made it to the finish line - AND 6th in place! Deflated our tires (more manliness) and ramped up the soft beach sand to make it to the campsite. Laughed when a Hilux got stuck. Contemplated certain doom of trying to get out of the campsite again. Realised Plan B was always our Plan B. Happiness.

All the teams eventually rolled on in. Everyone was in high spirits and we shared a few victory drinks on the beach with all the teams. Group photos, cheesy poses, photobombing and high fives abounded. The sun went down just as things started to get festive for the final Checkpoint party of the trip.

Highlights from the party: Finally saw some of the epic online footage from the rally. Rolled about in the sand tackling each other (STILL finding sand in earholes). Mark from Plan B broke our Spank Baton on his bum. Skinny dipped in the moonlight.

To say that Mozambique is bliss is an understatement. Pretty palm trees, cool breeze and soft white sand. We discussed staying an extra day, but sadly didnt seem viable. Joburg waits for no one and she was calling. Wasted Potential ended up staying an extra 9 days and thats why we don't like them as much anymore. Okay we still like them. We're just jealous.

DAY 16 – A FULL DAY IN VILANCULOS

Woke up slow and lazed by the pool with a cuppa Motherland in hand. Manda took a dow out with the Retired Rentals and spent her day relaxing in the sunshine and snorkling with some colourful fishies.

Kitty and Dani went into town with Plan B and JP from Goofy Gophers. Explored the village a bit and met up with The Natives at the local bakery and sampled some custard rolls, doughnuts and rice cakes. Delish! On the way picked up some bits and pieces for lunch/dinner and stopped for a drink at a local bar. Lazed about in hammocks and sipped rum from a coconut. Blissful. Picked up some of the famous local rum too, Tipo Tinto. Looks a bit like petrol but probably a lot better tasting. Don't drink petrol. Drink rum that looks like the stuff.

Took a dip in the ocean with a cuppa of the Tinto in hand, made a quick braai broodjie for lunch (as well as prebroodjie braai broodjies) and dinner was 5kgs of prawns and two giant crayfish. Of course. Kitty patched up another hole in our mattress which makes that a record four! Successful day in Vilankulos!

It’s becoming more and more apparent that we are getting Africa Holiday Brain. Shut down complete. Tomorrow is only 4 hours to Inhambane. We take it slow. Africa time.

DAY 15 – OCEAN VIEWS, PALM TREES, SUNSETS, ALL THE USUAL CLICHES

Goodbye hellhole Tete! Left as early as we could and drove the 840km from Tete to Vilankulos.

Drove through and around a million potholes. Oh and boy were there potholes. At times you’re literally dodging the tar instead of the holes and it makes more sense to drive on the side of the road than the road itself. Tertius had to do the tedious windy pothole dance as other teams in 4x4s and even the heavy duty trucks slammed though them like butter. Tertius gasps as we squeeze between 2 inches of road and a massive 12 wheeler pan technican.

Getting to Blue Water campsite was an interesting experience. Beach sand roads passed by sleepy little fishing communities as kiddies heading home from school ran alongside the car. For roads usually designed for 4x4s and Landies, Tertius the sand cub rally car sure knows how to rip up some dirt. Shifted and slid on through as best we could. Didnt get stuck and didn’t need to be towed! Woohoo! We’ll see what happens on the way out though. Our positivity on this trip has been astounding.

Set up camp and admired a most beautiful moon over the ocean. Nibbled on some fresh braaied Kingfish via the Retired Rentals and a little pot bread from The Natives. Plan B made a spectacular veggie stew in exchange for some Motherland Coffee with Amarula. Nice.

DAY 14 - GOODBYE AWESOME, HELLO TETE

Good morning! Dani gets the hippy award for sleeping on the beach to watch the sun rise. Kitty made us some tea and rusks for breakfast. Manda grumped a bit about a discrepancy with her malaria pill but cheered up after a 20min power nap and a cuppa tea.

We packed up slow and waved goodbye to Malawi. Heading out of Salima we dodged a gazillion villagers on bikes carrying wives / kids / wood / 8 crates of Fanta Orange and headed south to the Mozambique border and Tete, our stop-off before Vilanculos.

Stopped on the way to buy some bread, tomatoes and eggs in a little village and were proposed to buy a shop owner and his friends. Driving through these little places gets a lot of attention and Tertius the branded Christmas tree literally turns heads. Or maybe we’re just that good looking. We can’t really tell. Actually we’re pretty sure it’s just because we’re really good looking.

We are seeing less and less baobabs and more and more cellphone towers. One more border crossing to go and that means we are one step closer to coming home. Crossing borders has been a breeze and we feel like we are just three beards short of being well travelled adventure Camel Men.

We arrived in Tete just after 5pm and began the search for accommodation. Tete is a tiny mining town about to burst into a mini Mecca so there is little if no where to stay and prices are exuberant for very little. Found a small room that smelt like beer and hooker decided against that. Eventually found refuge with another team the Herbie Fours in a modest 2 bedroom motel-come-flat with two couches and non-existent water pressure. Paid the exuberant R1100 for one room with two beds. Made illegal spaghetti in the lounge on our gas cooker, threw in some tinned veg and was surprisingly tasty. Although it was the most overpriced night of the trip with minimal luxury, at least it was clean and we were up at sunrise to head to Vilanculos. Or “Vilaculosh” if you are Portugeesh. Can. Not. Wait.